wishcave:

*opens jacket* hey u wanna buy some oh jesus fuck it’s cold *closes jacket*

(via itscaity)

royalteens:

i swear i’d dress better but i’m poor and fat

(via itscaity)

Mom: Can I see your tumblr?
Me: WHAT TUMBLR?! *throws laptop out window, runs to airport, moves to Mexico, changes name to Pepito*.

chafing-nipples:

dangermat:

when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster
that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide
bananas commit murder suicide

that’s pretty fucking metal

(via itscaity)

rules of tumblr:

sodamnrelatable:

(via janeelovesu)

hateruess:

yo fuck anyone who doesn’t want you in their life and fuck anyone who treats you bad and fuck anyone who breaks your heart because they’re all fuckin losers and they’re definitely not worth your time because your time is precious and the only people who deserve it are people who treat you right and are nice and don’t lie to you and buy you ice cream.

(via itscaity)

v

juriilicious:

“Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn’t fucking cook it!”
- Gordon Ramsay

(via itscaity)